Better Together: What the Lulav and Etrog can Teach Us this Sukkot

Dear Family and Friends, 

Another Sunday, another chag (holiday)! This week Jewish families around the world will celebrate the holiday of Sukkot by building and decorating temporary dwelling structures, hosting festive meals under the stars, and waving the four species, or arba minim. We are almost at the end of this intense holiday season. I’ll admit, I’m starting to feel a little tired of turning my phone off and preparing for yontif after yontif, but know that I will miss this slow pace once school starts up after the holiday break. 

I am always asked to describe my school by Israelis and Americans alike. The simplest way I know how is by calling Pardes an egalitarian yeshiva- but those who know what these words mean understand that the phrase is sort of an oxymoron. In the world of Jewish learning and practice, egalitarian spaces imply equal rights and opportunities for everyone, regardless of gender, sexuality, religious background, or observance. A yeshiva, on the other hand, is understood as a place of intensive Torah study, traditionally for observant men only. Pardes is unique in that it is an institution of intensive Torah learning that also values equality and Jewish pluralism. People who know Pardes well often ask: is an open, non-coercive, non-judgemental yeshiva an oxymoron? Is it possible to create a space that really holds true to values of both pluralism and of deep engagement with Torah and halakha (Jewish law)? 

On Thursday nights in Jerusalem, the shuk (open air market) turns into a crowded bar scene with pop up tables and lots of young people. I was out at the Shuk having drinks with some friends on Thursday evening, and we ran into yeshiva boys who were friends of a friend. After having studied at an orthodox yeshiva for two years, they were intrigued by my ability to engage with Torah study and my desire to become a rabbi. Honestly, they were kind of jerks about it. One of the yeshiva boys even said, “I think it’s pretty hot that women want to be rabbis, but it’s just not kosher”. I of course wanted to clock him after this comment, but restrained myself. It got me thinking, though. These yeshiva dudes were living a life of deep Torah study, but weren’t really mensch’s. They definitely didn’t have to agree with my religious practices and career aspiration, but they were incredibly ignorant and rude about them. 

I thought back to the time that my Chabad rabbi in university asked me what I planned to do after university. I hesitated in telling him that I hoped to become a rabbi myself, and planned to study at Pardes in order to prepare myself. His response: “now that’s a yeshiva”. It blew my mind that both of these men, steeped in a world of observance and mitzvot, could have such different responses to my path. 

This week in class, we learned about the four species that we wave on Sukkot. A famous commentary ( מדרש ויקרא רבה ל:יב) likens the four species to the Jewish people. Ideally, the Jewish people express ourselves through living Torah (i.e. engaging in commandments, or mitzvot) and doing good deeds (i.e. being good people, or mensch’s). The midrash (commentary) likens Torah to taste, and good deeds to smell. The etrog, or citron, has a good taste and a good smell, and therefore symbolizes a Jewish person who lives Torah and does good deeds. The lulav, or date branch, has a good taste, but no smell. This symbolizes someone who only lives a life of Torah, but isn’t much of a mensch (like the yeshiva boys I met at the shuk). The hadas, or myrtle branch, smells wonderful but has no taste, symbolizing the Jew who doesn’t live their life engaging in mitzvot, but is a good person and does good things in the world. The arava, or willow branch, has no smell or taste, and therefore symbolizes a person who is not engaged in either Torah learning or in doing good things for those around them. The midrash says that we must bring everyone together in order to be complete. For the Jewish people to really be whole, we must all be able to be included, and to learn from each other, no matter where we are in our Jewish journeys. 

As I write this post, I am reminded of my favourite Humans of New York post, in which an observant man is pictured holding the four species together. "It's a myrtle branch, a willow branch, a palm branch, and an etrog. They symbolize the four different types of Jews," he says. The photographer asks, "Can you hold them apart so I can see them better?”. "They're supposed to stay together," the man responds. 

Despite not always seeing eye to eye, we, like the four species, are supposed to stay together. We are better together. We are stronger when we learn together, and when we work to understand and make room for one another. This is Pardes’ mission and vision, and I am proud to be a student there. 

Wishing you a Chag Sukkot Sameach!

With Love, 

Lara